Published cartoon · 2026-09-11

AuditorIOU

Abstraction today. Innovation tomorrow.

Why this one bites

An auditor flags a temporary proof-of-concept table that needs to change before launch. Instead of fixing the underlying data, the team adds a wrapper function. The engineer objects that hiding a problem does not resolve it, but the product manager treats reduced visibility as a stakeholder benefit.

Executive approval turns that workaround into a growing stack of abstraction layers. Deployment fails, and the sinking yacht is reclassified as a submarine. This fictional workplace satire follows accountability as it slips from correcting a known defect to explaining why the failure should count as innovation.

Transcript

Title: AuditorIOU. Abstraction today. Innovation tomorrow.
Panel 1 — The Audit. Auditor: We found you’re reading from a table named “my_temp_dump” - that needs to change before launch. Engineer: Yes, that table is just a temporary dump from the POC. We’ll address that finding.
Panel 2 — The Solution (Sort Of). Product Manager: Let’s just build a wrapper function to read from it, we have a launch date to meet. Engineer: So... we hide the problem instead of fixing it? Diagram: Wrapper Function → Abstraction Layer → Existing Data (Unchanged).
Panel 3 — The Objection. Engineer: But that doesn’t solve the problem. It just makes it harder to see. It’s technical debt, not a solution. Product Manager: Exactly! It abstracts the risk. That’s what stakeholders want to see.
Panel 4 — The Executive Decision. Senior Executive: Let’s not let Perfect be the enemy of Good here, we need to shift left and move the needle on this. Just Do It. Corporate Priorities checklist: Abstraction; Obfuscation; Plausible Deniability; Looks Good in Reporting; No Real Change Required.
Panel 5 — Implementation. Engineer: So we add another layer... and another... and another... A stack shows Layers 1 through 7 above Existing Data (Unchanged).
Panel 6 — Deployment. Product Manager: It’s live! A masterpiece of engineering abstraction! Another voice: Uh... it’s not working. It’s sinking. An underwater yacht appears beside a sign with YACHT crossed out and SUBMARINE beneath it. Caption: AND THAT WAS HOW SUBMARINES WERE INVENTED.
Panel 7 — The Lesson. Engineer: So it still failed... Product Manager: At a certain pay grade, that’s no longer failure. It’s either someone else’s fault or a visionary innovation that was just ahead of its time.